i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
