capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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