goodnight i made you a song goodbye
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
