i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
try to milk me bitch
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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