So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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