i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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