uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
