How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
why is half of my head shaved?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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