Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
