I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
