If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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