You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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