Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
