White coat. Heels.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
