I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
