No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
