Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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