those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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