The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
