So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
