Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
i need some magic done to my vagina
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
