Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
