You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
