I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
smell my finger.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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