it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
