Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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