He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
