Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
