remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
