U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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