i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
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