what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
