Nicole vs. Life
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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