Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
