Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
