"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
