I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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