Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
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For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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