Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize
