If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
