if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
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i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
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Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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