6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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