So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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