I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
