if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
