In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
