you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
