it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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