I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
