im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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