Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
