The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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