she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
