i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
