A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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