Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
There was a lot of him and a little penis
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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