my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
