I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize