What a fucking waste of an outfit
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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