Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
