I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Please don't give away my fajitas
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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