at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
