he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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