hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
