he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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