Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
